Christmas isn't always an ideal season, but this year was much more normal than most. Gifts were given and received in a spirited manner, and very few people were insulted by my referencing of the birth of zombie Jesus, which is what this holiday is all about.
I myself had a bountiful haul this year, bringing in some of the best gifts I've ever received. I'd like to thank all of my family and friends for these amazing gifts. If I left anything out, it's because I'm drunk and really shouldn't be blogging at this ungodly hour.
Freeware is Happyware
While I'm on the topic of indie games (and drunk posting), everyone would really be doing a service to themselves by checking out Hero Core and REDDER. These are two of the best indie games I've played and they're both available for free.
Hero Core looks and sort of plays like an old Gameboy game, yet is one of the best games available that's built using Game Maker; while REDDER is a Flash game resembling something from the NES days, and is available to play on Newgrounds.
Maybe the reason I like both of them so much is that they remind me of Metroid II, which is the only Gameboy game I care about besides Wario Land II. Exloration is key and, although you can go anywhere at any time, it's important to hone your skills before tackling the tougher challenges. Exploration is really under-utilized in gaming these days, with some games literally drawing out or funneling you to where you need to go (Fable 2's golden trail, Metroid: Other M's locked doors). It's rare to find a new game that doesn't at least have waypoint markers, so to see a couple of games that are willing to set you loose with nothing but a little backstory is refreshing (if a little archaic).
Check them out and, if you're pleased with the quality of these two freeware games, you should also check out the Humble Indie Bundle to see what indie developers can do when they're actually paid for their work.
Left: Hero Core; Right: REDDER
Hero Core looks and sort of plays like an old Gameboy game, yet is one of the best games available that's built using Game Maker; while REDDER is a Flash game resembling something from the NES days, and is available to play on Newgrounds.
Maybe the reason I like both of them so much is that they remind me of Metroid II, which is the only Gameboy game I care about besides Wario Land II. Exloration is key and, although you can go anywhere at any time, it's important to hone your skills before tackling the tougher challenges. Exploration is really under-utilized in gaming these days, with some games literally drawing out or funneling you to where you need to go (Fable 2's golden trail, Metroid: Other M's locked doors). It's rare to find a new game that doesn't at least have waypoint markers, so to see a couple of games that are willing to set you loose with nothing but a little backstory is refreshing (if a little archaic).
Check them out and, if you're pleased with the quality of these two freeware games, you should also check out the Humble Indie Bundle to see what indie developers can do when they're actually paid for their work.
The Humble Indie Bundle 2
This is something that I wouldn't normally do, but I'm in the Christmas spirit (read: drunk). I just went to the Humble Indie Bundle website and bought the whole kit and caboodle (kitten caboodle?). Samorost 2 and Machinarium are all they really had to include to get my attention, but a few too many eggnogs is what it took for them to get my credit card number.
If you don't know what the Humble Indie Bundle 2 is, it's a bundle of five independent games that you get to set your own price on. You can buy them all for as little as $0.01, though if you spend $7.80 or more you'll also get the six games from the original HIB. Then you get to determine how much of your money goes to the games' developers and how much goes to charities like Child's Play. It's a pretty good deal for anyone who isn't Hitler.
Honestly, I'll probably never play some of the games that I just bought, but you can't really fault Cortex Command, Machinarium, Samorost 2, World of Goo or Braid. They're all amazing games that put a lot of what mainstream developers are working on to shame.
The only reasons I might regret my purchase later on are that Jonathan Blow, the creator of Braid, is a total dick and I really wish that The Path were included as well—but there's always next year for that.
If you don't know what the Humble Indie Bundle 2 is, it's a bundle of five independent games that you get to set your own price on. You can buy them all for as little as $0.01, though if you spend $7.80 or more you'll also get the six games from the original HIB. Then you get to determine how much of your money goes to the games' developers and how much goes to charities like Child's Play. It's a pretty good deal for anyone who isn't Hitler.
Honestly, I'll probably never play some of the games that I just bought, but you can't really fault Cortex Command, Machinarium, Samorost 2, World of Goo or Braid. They're all amazing games that put a lot of what mainstream developers are working on to shame.
The only reasons I might regret my purchase later on are that Jonathan Blow, the creator of Braid, is a total dick and I really wish that The Path were included as well—but there's always next year for that.
Updates From YTMND and a Secret
Apparently some people have actually watched and liked Stay Classy, YTMND. It currently sits at a rating of 3.3/5 with ten votes, putting it slightly ahead of my previous YTMND, Scotty has had it with this sh*t. My top rated and viewed YTMND is still Egon's Wonderful Time Remix, which has a rating of 4.45/5 with 242 votes and 14,482 views (if you experience syncing issues, watch it on YouTube here).
This is a useless post, but I'd also like to announce that I'm working on a quasi-secret project that will occupy most of my time between now and the new year. Expect infrequent updates.
This is a useless post, but I'd also like to announce that I'm working on a quasi-secret project that will occupy most of my time between now and the new year. Expect infrequent updates.
34thdimension.com Lives On In Its New Form
Yesterday my registration period for 34thdimension.com ended. I was wondering what would become of the domain after it expired, and now I know: 34thdimension.com is now home to "dimension spa hot tub printer."
I honestly didn't think the domain would have attracted the attention of spammers since we only had three (semi-)active members. But apparently The 34th Dimension is a valuable brand that I no longer have full control over. If there were active visitors that didn't also work for the site, I might have reason to care.
I hope that I gave the domain an appropriate sendoff. You can check out most of the celebration posts here and the final post, the MMPRSSF+ Part IV, here.
I honestly didn't think the domain would have attracted the attention of spammers since we only had three (semi-)active members. But apparently The 34th Dimension is a valuable brand that I no longer have full control over. If there were active visitors that didn't also work for the site, I might have reason to care.
I hope that I gave the domain an appropriate sendoff. You can check out most of the celebration posts here and the final post, the MMPRSSF+ Part IV, here.
MMPRSSF+ Part IV - A New Hope Approaches!
Shit. Is it time for another edition of the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Super Special Feature + already!? The last one was only published . . . two years ago? Fuck. Okay, fine. Here it is: part four of the Super Special Feature +, brought to you by the letter ಠ_ರೃ.
My nephew is a huge fan of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. A few months ago his mother, beyond anyone's better judgement, let him read the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Super Special Feature + here on The 34th Dimension. He loved it so much that he came to me and asked if I would let him make the next one. He was really excited about it and I didn't have the heart to tell him no, so I said that if he came up with all of the text and pictures I would help put it together and then post it online. I was lying, of course, but when he handed me the finished pages I was astounded. He did such an amazing and hilarious job that there was no way in hell that I couldn't release it.
He's actually a pretty good artist and it's clear that he spends too much time on the Internet. His mom obviously helped him with spelling, but I tried to transcribe the story exactly as it was written.
Now, without further ado, The 34th Dimension is proud to present:
My nephew is a huge fan of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. A few months ago his mother, beyond anyone's better judgement, let him read the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Super Special Feature + here on The 34th Dimension. He loved it so much that he came to me and asked if I would let him make the next one. He was really excited about it and I didn't have the heart to tell him no, so I said that if he came up with all of the text and pictures I would help put it together and then post it online. I was lying, of course, but when he handed me the finished pages I was astounded. He did such an amazing and hilarious job that there was no way in hell that I couldn't release it.
He's actually a pretty good artist and it's clear that he spends too much time on the Internet. His mom obviously helped him with spelling, but I tried to transcribe the story exactly as it was written.
Now, without further ado, The 34th Dimension is proud to present:
The MMPRSSF+ Returns!
I'm genuinely sorry that today's Celebration 2010 post is going up so late (Author's Note: No I'm not), but I think it's worth the wait. For today I have brought the return of the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Super Special Feature + (currently in three parts). Don't know what I'm talking about? Well, the MMPRSSF+ was The 34th Dimension's very first feature, created back when I still occasionally reviewed movies.
It's honestly some of the best work I've done on this site, which is a huge insult to everything else. Speaking of insults, I don't think the commenters at Retro Junk will ever forgive me for these.
• Part I: Character Biographies
• Part II: The Journey Continues
• Part III: Bulk and Skull: A Tribute to Angel Grove's Bad Boys
There's just one more day until the old domain expires! Check back tomorrow for the final surprise, and be sure to check out the rest of the Countdown 2010 posts as well.
It's honestly some of the best work I've done on this site, which is a huge insult to everything else. Speaking of insults, I don't think the commenters at Retro Junk will ever forgive me for these.
• Part I: Character Biographies
• Part II: The Journey Continues
• Part III: Bulk and Skull: A Tribute to Angel Grove's Bad Boys
There's just one more day until the old domain expires! Check back tomorrow for the final surprise, and be sure to check out the rest of the Countdown 2010 posts as well.
What I've Learned From Games
What's this? An actual article!? You are correct, sir! To continue the 2010 Countdown, here is a brand new article that I've finished. I'll return you to your regularly scheduled disappointment tomorrow. Click here to see the rest of the Countdown.
Video games can teach us many things, like vulgarity and racism. I'm certain that, some day, games will carry so much information that we'll no longer have any need for schools. In fact, you should probably drop out now and get a head start: it'll show future employers that you have initiative! While you're sabotaging your own futures, here are just a few of the things that video games have taught me over the years to help sculpt me into the debonair walrus that I am.
Video games can teach us many things, like vulgarity and racism. I'm certain that, some day, games will carry so much information that we'll no longer have any need for schools. In fact, you should probably drop out now and get a head start: it'll show future employers that you have initiative! While you're sabotaging your own futures, here are just a few of the things that video games have taught me over the years to help sculpt me into the debonair walrus that I am.
Season's Greetings
Whoa, what? You say that I missed posting yesterday? That's not true, for I merely brought you the greatest gift of all: the gift of disappointment.
P. S. This counts as today's post. So fuck off, I'm still drunk.
P. S. This counts as today's post. So fuck off, I'm still drunk.
Egad! Comics!
I was up 'til 7:30 AM playing Freeze Tag in Quake Live and that's where I intend to spend the rest of the day. So I'm phoning it in for today's Countdown 2010 post and giving you a series of comics I drew nearly three years ago.
There's more where that came from! Two more, to be precise. On the next page.
There's more where that came from! Two more, to be precise. On the next page.
Stay Classy
Here is the first day's surprise in the Domain Name Expiration Countdown. You can either click this post's title or right here to view it. Rest assured, I will be going to Hell for this one.
If you're sick of YTMNDs stay tuned for tomorrow's update, which I can guarantee with 26% certainty will be something totally different.
If you're sick of YTMNDs stay tuned for tomorrow's update, which I can guarantee with 26% certainty will be something totally different.
The First Annual Domain Name Expiration Countdown!
The old domain name for The 34th Dimension expires on December 22, so to count it down and celebrate my cheapness I'll be posting something new each day from now until I lose control of the domain. Since I just thought of this plan an hour ago I have absolutely nothing prepared, so expect shitty quality across the board.
I'll have the first item up tonight by 11:59 PM Mountain Standard Time.
I'll have the first item up tonight by 11:59 PM Mountain Standard Time.
Oops, Bobby Kottick Did it Again
For fuck's sake, Activision. Do you need to rape a franchise every time you have even the slightest amount of success with it? Are GoldenEye and Blood Stone doing so well as to warrant a third game already? Apparently, yes.
I really like Ravensoft. They've given me X-Men Legends and Jedi Outcast and, for that, I will be forever grateful. They stumbled a bit with Quake 4, but the idea of a Raven-made Bond game should be an inherently pleasant one.
It's not, though, because Bobby Kottick can choke on a bucket of 'nads. This guy has not been humbled one bit by the recent (totally justified) attacks on his character in the media. Sure, he came out with a few nice words to save face, but the fact that Activision is almost certainly working on a new Bond game just barely a month after the last two were released proves that he will never falter in his quest for more money.
Activision raped the shit out of Guitar Hero and Call of Duty, and now they're looking to do it to James Bond. This is normally where I'd make a joke about Quantum of Solace beating them to it, but fuck Activision and fuck Bobby fucking Kottick in his fat fucking baby face.
I really like Ravensoft. They've given me X-Men Legends and Jedi Outcast and, for that, I will be forever grateful. They stumbled a bit with Quake 4, but the idea of a Raven-made Bond game should be an inherently pleasant one.
It's not, though, because Bobby Kottick can choke on a bucket of 'nads. This guy has not been humbled one bit by the recent (totally justified) attacks on his character in the media. Sure, he came out with a few nice words to save face, but the fact that Activision is almost certainly working on a new Bond game just barely a month after the last two were released proves that he will never falter in his quest for more money.
Activision raped the shit out of Guitar Hero and Call of Duty, and now they're looking to do it to James Bond. This is normally where I'd make a joke about Quantum of Solace beating them to it, but fuck Activision and fuck Bobby fucking Kottick in his fat fucking baby face.
“Mighty Morphin Power Rangers” Toys Are Back
Oh my god, I want this!
I wanted the Dino Megazord the moment I saw it in the Sears Wishbook as a child. This was probably back in '95, which means that I've spent the last fifteen years without knowing true happiness. Now that Bandai has brought back many of the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers action figures, maybe someone will find it in their heart to fulfill this man-child's wishes. Or I could just buy it myself. Oh, adulthood! With your buying power and credit cards, what dreams can't you fulfill?
Some people have decided to criticize this re-release, and the toys may not be identical to the original series, but they're vastly superior to the Jurassic Park figures Kenner's been shilling. The only better re-release I've seen was for the TMNT 25th Anniversary, which I have yet to take advantage of. I still need to replace the Donatello that I lost in my neighbour's sandbox.
I wanted the Dino Megazord the moment I saw it in the Sears Wishbook as a child. This was probably back in '95, which means that I've spent the last fifteen years without knowing true happiness. Now that Bandai has brought back many of the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers action figures, maybe someone will find it in their heart to fulfill this man-child's wishes. Or I could just buy it myself. Oh, adulthood! With your buying power and credit cards, what dreams can't you fulfill?
Some people have decided to criticize this re-release, and the toys may not be identical to the original series, but they're vastly superior to the Jurassic Park figures Kenner's been shilling. The only better re-release I've seen was for the TMNT 25th Anniversary, which I have yet to take advantage of. I still need to replace the Donatello that I lost in my neighbour's sandbox.
